| Tuesday, August 29, 2006 |
| "So why do I feel so strange?" |
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What a crazy couple of weeks.
It's eerily quiet around here… The rig's clean. All the uniforms have been washed and ironed. I've reorganized the supply cabinet. Angela's napping in the bunks. Portland seems to be safe and sound for the moment. I think this is one of the first moments of peace and quiet I've had since I started at LifeShield. So why do I feel so strange? Luckily I have something to keep my mind occupied for the time being. Or someone I should say. Yes, yes… after a few lonely months ol' Harper has finally gotten himself a date. Her name is Kristi - an LDS member - she is a very attractive woman from Los Angeles (living here for the next year or so) kind of a cross between Claire Danes and Rihanna. Very crush worthy. Anyway we are meeting tomorrow for brunch and then catching a movie before my shift tomorrow night. Scheduling could get a little crazy, but I think this could work out. I'm getting a little ahead of myself, I know. But I have that feeling in my stomach. The good one - not the one that makes you feel like vomiting. Although I have a little bit of that feeling too, but that may be because I just ate an entire bag of Combos. I've also been thinking lately about continuing on to Paramedic training. It feels like the right move. More and more I feel like God has sent me here to do his work… and I'm loving it. Angela and I have patched things up. I think our differences over the past few weeks during her recovery have actually brought us a lot closer. I think she respects me after standing up to her. Thankfully I've had experience with my older brothers to know that sometimes you just have to stare the Alpha Wolf down until he backs away. I just wish I could shake this funny feeling… posted by: Harper Sims |
| Tuesday, August 22, 2006 |
| "I have so much to learn about other people and their experiences outside my own." |
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What a crazy couple of weeks.
Sheesh. I've been trying to keep this blog going as a weekly deal, but last week, with Angela gone (she was in recovery for a leg injury she received during this month's bombing) I've been picking up some of the extra slack around the LifeShield station. But now that Angela's back… things are, well… back to normal. Normal meaning worse than they were before. At first she was just being stubborn. This is a woman who can be just as pig-headed as any given man. Let's just say that she came back too early and our partnership, her health, and our patients suffered for it. I know that God teaches us to be patient, but gee whiz some times I just can't take it! I understand that beneath Angela's tough exterior - there is a tender young girl, I just wish that she'd let her come out to play once in a while. I wish that she could see that she has friends and a support system - but she refuses to lean on anyone. I don't know… I had a large family that didn't have to worry about a lot. I have so much to learn about other people and their experiences outside my own. Sometimes I worry I'm just as bad as Angela by only seeing things from my own point of view. I have to understand that being assertive does not mean being oppressive - it is so important when making opinions understood that one does not step on other people's toes. There is always a way to come together and compromise. I will be better about solving my differences in the future - and better about seeing things from my opponent's point of view (especially when that opponent is my friend and mentor). Anyway, it's a moot point because she's back to her old self (I am thankful and prayed for her recovery - believe me) and not only bossing me around, but also everyone else in the garage (a luxury that came with running dispatch for the past few days…). In other news I am also thankful for the safe return of two of my favorite medics -- Wyatt and Sack - who were recently hijacked by a couple of junkies. It's a long story, but it turned out that it was a vital peace of information that was passed along to me (unwittingly on my part) that led to the discovery of their kidnapping and ultimately their safe return. Like my Grandfather John-David, the family chess master, used to say, "Even a pawn can lead to the capture of the King!" posted by: Harper Sims |
| Tuesday, August 8, 2006 |
| "Wherefore, if a man have faith he must needs have hope; for without faith there cannot be any hope." - MORONI, 7:42 |
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And then there are those days that really open your eyes…
Sorry this post is a bit late. I've been recovering from what is possibly the most influential day of my life. LifeShield responded to a bombing at a local Portland health clinic Monday. Out of respect for the victims and their families, I will withdraw from going into too much detail, but needless to say it was horrific. I could go off on a rant about the complete lunacy of killing others for purely selfish and blind reasons… but I'd like to focus on the positive. A community came together and triumphed over circumstances which could make us retreat into despair. I want to personally thank all of the hard work of Portland's heroes - the PFD and PPD, NMR, and all other EMS. These are men and women who continue to inspire not just me, but every life they touch and should be commended wholeheartedly for their selflessness. It was a dark day, but the brightness of humanity broke through the foul and ugly fog that strangled it. To all of the families and friends whose loved ones have been taken from them in horrors like the one experienced this week -- our hearts go out to all of you. We must continue to have faith and hope for a brighter future. posted by: Harper Sims |
| Tuesday, August 1, 2006 |
| "I think in some ways it was a slap in the face telling me to step up and take charge!" |
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There's nothing like getting punched in the face to make you feel alive. Bear with me here, I by no means am advocating violence of any kind, but I "threw down" the other day and it was pretty exciting.
It all started when some hoodlum (he was a hoodlum) couldn't keep his hands off Angela at the triage desk at Good Samaritan. So I asked him politely (en Espanol, no less) to show some respect. Next thing I know, BAM, right in the ol' pie-hole! My buddy Wyatt swooped in before I had a chance to get back at the guy, but…. What a rush! The whole thing happened so fast I barely had a chance to notice what was happening. Now, I grew up with older brothers so I am used to getting the "smack down." There were even a few incidents growing up around the neighborhood involving Jet Barret (Yes… his name was JET), who had a penchant for throwing dead birds at the neighborhood girls. Bullies roamed the school playground and I was a small kid so I got picked on a lot after my older brothers moved on to junior high. My father, a pacifist, didn't believe in fighting, but he understood there were times when a man had to defend himself - just as long as I wasn't the one to throw the first punch. But when this happened the other day I have to admit, I haven't felt so alive in a long time. A rude awakening, perhaps, but I think in some ways it was a slap in the face telling me to step up and take charge! I really think there are better ways to resolve differences than fisticuffs. Violence isn't the answer to anything. But I am learning I'm no longer a kid, you know? I have to start acting like a man. I have to step up to the plate, take charge (where it is appropriate) and be prepared! This job, even when not getting punched, is a very hard one. Perhaps a strict daily workout regimen might be a good way to start bulking up and therefore be more equipped to handle the strenuous world of EMS. Plus, as my pop used to say… looking good is feeling good! Oh yeah! I forgot to mention Angela's shock when she found out I speak Spanish. Classic :). posted by: Harper Sims |
| Tuesday, July 25, 2006 |
| "I don't equate success with how many lives you can save, either." |
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Those of you who caught the evening news on KRLQ past few nights in Portland may have seen a familiar face… That's right. It seems that everyone does get his or her "fifteen minutes" and mine lasted about a minute and a half (last night I was interviewed as a part of an expose on Portland's young heroes). "Hero" is a title I haven't exactly earned yet, so while I am appreciative of the community recognizing EMS, they probably should have done some research before seeking me out. Apparently standing around a crime scene and pointing looks good on camera, and that was how I was "discovered" (I've emailed the news station for an official correction of last night's blunder - I'm an EMT, not Paramedic!). Anyway, as Naheem says, it's good for business.
I want to take a moment and thank LDS in Portland for giving me a strong support system. I have felt bad about previous blogs saying how hard it is for me to make friends -- that's mostly around the station. I have been very active in the church and meeting many friendly people in both community outreach and social events (Jacob and Danielle - you guys are awesome). So where is life headed today? I'm not sure. It's extremely slow around the station this morning. Sitting on the couch with my oatmeal and blueberries. All my prep work is done (in fact I came in an hour early so I didn't have to listen to Angela bark at me. I don't mean to sound rude. I like Angela, but she doesn't talk - she barks!). I even cleaned up all the mud around the kitchen (Wyatt and Sack came in last night covered head to toe with the stuff - rumor has it those guys got in a big fight. I'm sure Angela will get the scoop. Not that she'll let me in on it…). Other than that it has been a quiet morning. Going back to the news thing for a moment… I want to emphasize that I don't do this job to get attention. Any medic that did go out there to be exalted as a hero would be doing so for the wrong reasons. While heroes inspire me, true success doesn't come from recognition by the masses - it comes from within. The better I get at my job, the harder I work, the more success I will meet. And I don't equate success with how many lives you can save, either. Sometimes patients are beyond hope and you are just there to see them peacefully through into the hands of God. In the end it is He who has chosen me to do this work and ultimately I will do it for Him. We are all, after all brothers and sisters, and the instruments of the Lord. So I guess I'd like to thank KLRQ for the interview and get back to being the best medic I can be. posted by: Harper Sims |
| Tuesday, July 18, 2006 |
| "I think I'm getting a handle on it … Maybe." |
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And finally a sense of relief. Around here that lasts about as long as an ice cream cone on a hot Saturday at the zoo, but nonetheless…
I think things are finally looking up! It's so nice to start again with a clean slate, isn't it? The wonderful thing about life's little trip-ups is we can learn from our missteps and recover our path -- the challenge is walking a straight line. But looking around, things are shaping up. My partnership with Angela has never been better. Not only are we starting to sync professionally (our out-of-chute percentage is currently the highest on the LifeShield scoreboard) but personally as well. She's letting me eat lunch on the kitchen couch while she eats at the table (a HUGE step) and last night when the TV was broken, she even joined me in a few rounds of Connect Four (she's a much nicer winner than I expected). I've invited her and her roommate Rosie to my place for dinner Sunday night -- she said she'd think about it. Anyway what a wonderful gift relief is. That's really what we try to bring people every single day. Relief from fear. Relief from pain. And unfortunately sometimes the greatest relief is death. If we can't save them, we must usher them through that door and watch them go quietly into the night. It's a tough job, but somebody has to do it. I think I'm getting a handle on it … Maybe. Angela just stormed through the LifeShield kitchen. She says she and Rosie can't make it to dinner Sunday - they're going to a Portland Beavers Game. And she told me to move off the couch. Maybe it's time I start dating again. posted by: Harper Sims |
| Tuesday, July 11, 2006 |
| "Illness and injury, I'm learning, are the great equalizers." |
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The weekend before I started work as an EMT (I'm currently with LifeShield in Portland, OR) I was feeling down in the dumps. In the previous month my personal life had taken a turn for the worse and consequently a drop in confidence escalated my nerves to the point of frenzy upon starting my job. I spent most of that Saturday on the phone with Mom. She suggested I start a journal. Perhaps recording my thoughts and reflections of this exciting new time in my life (in addition to, of course, prayer) might help me get back touch with my inner strength. Well, God helps those who help themselves... So after a few failed attempts, I finally settled into the idea of writing this blog. That way I can share my journey with all of you and hopefully my little life lessons might shed light on your own experiences.
It's been a rough few weeks. However, I must remind myself that no matter how hard things have been there are those who are in much worse shape than I am. Everyday I see people in need of care. From old to young, from rich to poor, chaos doesn't play favorites. Illness and injury, I'm learning, are the great equalizers. Which is why I wanted to start this job in the first place. Like many Americans, the events of 9/11 had a profound affect on my life's journey. The heroism of the NYPD, firefighters and paramedics inspired me to enter the field of Emergency Response. I worry the next few decades could be some of the darkest in human history -- and I think that it's time mankind steps up and takes responsibility for some of the horrible things that are happening in the world today. Aside from adjusting to the harsh reality of the call (on my first day I witnessed the death of a 10-yr-old boy - a victim of drunk driving (when will we learn!?!) - it's been challenging making friends around the station. Everyone at LifeShield is great, but I have to admit I've been feeling a little lonely. I still spend most of my meals alone and any downtime is spent going down the checklist of tasks assigned to me while on rookie detail (most of which leave a distinct aroma of waste and cleaning products wafting in my wake). My partner, Angela, is a strong mentor, but we have very little in common. From the outset I was worried I'd ever be able to complete a sentence in her presence. It always seems that once you find a window into somebody's life, there's a pair of curtains waiting to be drawn just on the other side. Well... all of Angela's windows are boarded up. Last week I thought we had turned a corner, but now, due to situations I can't get into in this forum (sorry) our partnership may be in jeopardy. To be honest... I'm not sure if I can tough it out right now. I need to continue trying to branch out and make some new friends. I've been trying to talk to these two guys, Wyatt and Sack. They've been cool - offered a bit of insight, but they seem really distracted. I think we all have a lot going on right now. posted by: Harper Sims |
| About Me | |
Name:Harper Sims Marital Status: Single |
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| Employment History: Harper is new to LifeShield and to Emergency Response in general. He is the most novice member of the squad, and is thus alloted the least appealing aspects of EMT detail, including, but not limited to, restocking and cleaning. Personal File: A quick learner, Harper is improving rapidly. He seems shy and sometimes lacks confidence, but is clearly absorbing and learning at an impressive rate. He often endures ribbing from his partner, Angela, and some of the other EMT’s, but should find his footing before long. |
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